


Corrupted Promises

by Xyter



Category: Gintama
Genre: Depression, Gekijouban Gintama Kanketsu-hen: Yorozuya yo Eien Nare | Be Forever Yorozuya, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Joui War, M/M, Movie Plot Divergence, Suicidal Thoughts, Survivor Guilt, serious fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-26
Updated: 2016-10-26
Packaged: 2018-08-24 12:49:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8372866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xyter/pseuds/Xyter
Summary: "I don't know how I can ever face him in the afterlife," he gritted his teeth, his voice  shaky, bitter. "Not after failing to protect everything he left behind."I'm which Katsura is left utterly broken and Gintoki feels even more lonely than ever before.Second movie plot divergence. Contains spoilers.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This focuses more on Katsura's and Gintoki's bond. This is also my first fanfic from Gintama. I hope I got the characterization alright. Rated T for mature topics, blood, and death, but nothing too explict. Not beta'ed, so please point out any errors.
> 
> Here's the tragedy. Enjoy.

After they first meet in what seemed like ages, Gintoki noted that he changed. His long black hair was even longer than he had remembered ( _that damned wig_ , he thought). While he still was _Zura_ , he wasn't quite the same. His expression had hardened, and even though he was still an idiot, it was painful for Gintoki to admit that he changed. He had bandages wrapped around his eye and Gintoki was left thinking if there was any way to alter fate after all. Now, Zura looked like such a blatant copy of _him_ it was laughable.

 _So my death didn't even change the course of things, just whom they happen to_ , he thought.

He wondered what had happened to Takasugi in this world. Perhaps he was off in space somewhere. Or maybe he was dead. 

All he knew that both his and Takasugi's disappearance had affected Zura greatly. He was tired of life, most of all. He seemed to hold no care that he was about to get executed earlier, or maybe it was just because he's Zura and that's just daily life for him.

What he didn't expect, however, was for him to consume himself in this corruption. He almost forgot how scary Zura can be when he still held Takasugi's ideals of destroying the world. 

Truth be told, it wasn't as if he was expecting anything, really. But sometimes, he couldn't help but dreaming of coming to a world where the three of them were still so young, still inexperienced, not knowing the horrors of the world.  But he knew it was only foolish, wishful thinking and by now he knew better than anyone not to dangerously hope for things. He sighed, suddenly feeling much heavier. 

It was painful that even _he_ didn't recognize him. It seemed that nobody did. It was no wonder, as Gintoki simply didn't exist in this world anymore. He was so confused, and most of all, utterly lost.

It was irrational.

It wasn't as if it was _his_ fault, he couldn't have known.

So why did Gintoki feel so betrayed, so alone, when he didn't recognize him?

 

* * *

_"It's already been five years since he passed away." Katsura said, watching the heavy rain._

_It was strange listening to Zura talk about him like this. It felt wrong._

_He wanted to reach out to him, but he couldn't._

_"I don't know how I can ever face him in the afterlife," he gritted his teeth, his voice shaky, bitter. "Not after failing to protect everything he left behind."_

_Of course. It was so like Zura to start blaming himself. Despite their differences, he was still Gintoki's best friend, and Gintoki himself felt a pang of guilt for making him like this._

_"Do you know what he was trying to do?" Gintoki asked quietly, still in his disguise._

_"The White Plague..." Katsura started, sighing. "No, it didn't have that name back then,"_  
_Gintoki listened, closing the screen doors behind him._

_"Do you know why Gintoki knew about the White Plague before it spread across this planet?"_

_No, he honestly didn't._

_"It's because he'd already encountered it fifteen years ago."_

_Gintoki looked at him. "Fifteen years ago?"_

_"Yes. It was back during the Joui War." Katsura said. Gintoki furrowed his eyebrows._

_"Fifteen years ago, the Shogunate tried to put an end to the long-running Joui War by sending a certain mercenary squadron to a certain battle. Once they enter a battle, they cause enough damage to render a planet useless. Thus, their existence was considered a taboo and locked away in the dark chapters of history." Katsura continued, not looking at Gintoki, who felt his blood run cold._

_"Some called them the World Breakers, but this abominable group's actual name was..."_  
_"The Blight." Gintoki finished for him, his expression darkening. It was the first time Katsura had looked at him._

_"Did you... fight in the Joui War?"_

_He would rather he didn't. With you, with Takasugi, all the others, he thought. Now, Gintoki was dead in this world, Katsura was broken beyond repair and Takasugi was missing for all he knew. It wasn't meant to be like this._

_He didn't answer._

 

* * *

 

The next time they meet, it is under different circumstances.

He no longer had the disguise as he fought the _Shiroyasha_ , or rather, himself. Fighting himself was one of his life's greater challenges. It was a weird phenomenon, one that he definitely wouldn't get used to. After all, he was killing himself from the future, which is an absurd concept in on itself.

He lost track of what timeline he was in anymore. At this point, it didn't even matter. He recalled the times when he was frantically looking for a time machine when he fucked something up, but he never imagined it to be like this.

_Good times._

He sat in silence as thick, warm blood trickled down from his wounds. He felt the familiar taste of iron in his mouth. He felt weak, as if he was about to vomit. The blade had dug deep inside of his muscle, tearing flesh and everything in its way.  He was lucky it didn't reach anything major. He noticed little beads of blood forming at some of the smaller cuts and slowly trickling down. It would be a long time before the wounds healed, if they healed at all. 

As morbid as it sounds, he survived worse and at least that thought alone gave him some reassurance. It proved that he had grown. 

Suddenly, he heard someone approaching him, and his heart stopped. It would be bad if someone saw him like this, the blood still splattered on his face. 

_They'll probably think you murdered someone, Gintoki. Great job._

Well, they wouldn't be  _wrong,_ but does killing oneself from the future count as murder, or as suicide? Was he even a separate entity from the Shiroyasha? How does that even work?

His head hurt.

His inner monologue suddenly stopped when he heard footsteps approaching.  _Shit._ They must have been after him now. How did they even find out he was there in the first place?

He held his breath as if trying to lessen his presence. He's gotten himself into a tight spot, and if he didn't think fast, he would get himself into serious trouble. Gintoki wasn't sure why he felt like this. _I am the one injured, after all_ , he thought. But he felt as that if he messed up now, his chance of going back to his world would be slim. To add to his problems, he had difficulty moving due to his injuries. He hated when he overthought everything. 

Suddenly, the person who came in earlier had noticed him. He stood in front of Gintoki, sweeping his dark hair out of his face. The person's posture stiffened and he stood as if paralyzed. Gintoki's eyes widened when he realized who it was.

  
_Zura._

 

* * *

 

  
_"I should've realized something was wrong when he, of all people, came to me to reminisce about the past." His tone was hollow, empty. While Gintoki couldn't see his expression, he saw that his lip trembled, as if he was about to cry. He was overwhelmed, but he managed to swallow it up. "That cross was not yours to bear alone, Gintoki!" he said, more so to himself than anyone else._

  
_His eyes widened. It was then that he realized just how broken Zura was left after this, how utterly reeled in guilt and self-hatred he was. (How much he actually loved him.)_

  
_And it was all his fault._

_"You must have been close. You... really loved him, didn't you?" It felt wrong asking him like this, but Katsura would never know it was him. Maybe Gintoki hated himself, too. But he needed to know, even if he feared he already knew the answer._

_The truth is, they are both very stubborn fools._

_"I..." Katsura struggled for words. "I... couldn't possibly ever admit that to him. Not after all that I've done. He... he would probably hate me."_

_Gintoki's chest felt heavy, his stomach empty, feeling as if he had lost some part of him. How could that idiot think that?_

_Gintoki wished he could tell him that what he's saying isn't true, that he cares a lot more than he could ever admit; but he can't, (he's a stubborn fool, after all) and instead all he says is, "Is that so."_

 

* * *

  
Katsura knew he was in a very dark place. And while he resented Gintoki for not telling him about his problems and dealing with everything alone, he was no different from him. The truth is, he was a coward and a hypocrite; who instead of facing his problems, ran away from them, destroying everything and everyone that had wronged him. He felt like an empty shell of who he once was. He was a man who had everything taken away from him, a man devoid of any sort of hope. Many times had he looked at his katana, tempted to just end everything right then and there.

It was no wonder he felt shocked beyond belief when one of the only men he ever trusted had appeared in front of him, after five years of being presumed dead. And in here, of all places.

Honestly, he had every right to be skeptical.

"Gintoki?..." he asked, still in doubt. He saw a head full of silver hair and his breath hitched, his posture still stiff. He hesitantly approached Gintoki, crouching down beside him, his face still full of disbelief. "Zura," Gintoki coughed out, some blood coming out. "So you decided to show up..."

"It's not Zura, it's Katsura." he corrected him for the thousandth time, ruining the moment like always, because that's just the kind of person he was. "I came here to hide, actually. I... it must be fate that I came across you-" He cut himself off before his voice sounded teary. He didn't know who he was trying to be strong for.

"Hiding from what?" Gintoki asked. 

"Myself, mostly."

Time seemed to have slowed down, or so it appeared to Katsura. They both looked at each other for a moment, like a pair of sad, old friends. It was so unlike them to be like this. Usually, they would probably spit venom at each other or argue about things that didn't matter. Katsura felt as if some part of him was born again. He didn't even realize how much he missed him until he saw him on this day. All of this didn't seem real, yet here he was, in front of him, alive and...

It was then that he noticed the blood stains on his clothes, spreading slowly like bacteria. He felt the vile, bitter smell of iron.

"Gintoki, are you alright?!"

Without even thinking, he quickly wrapped his hand around his back to support him. Gintoki, instead of trying to stand up, embraced the other man as tightly as he could, not letting go. It all felt so familiar, as if he was home again. As if none of this had ever happened. He could smell Katsura's, no, _Zura's_ hair and thought just how much he missed him. "Gintoki..." Zura said, pressing him tighter. "Stop pushing yourself. You're really going to kill yourself one of these days. And what am I going to do then?"

"Oi, you start to sound like my mother. It could be worse. I could have been fighting to the death for the last Weekly Shōnen Jump," he said nonchalantly. Katsura didn't answer.

Gintoki sighed. 

He felt his shoulder dampen, and he realized that Zura was crying. He couldn't remember the last time he saw him so broken after Shouyou-sensei died. After all, he still didn't even know where Takasugi was...

That fool has probably held it in for as long as Gintoki left. It's as if all the years of bottling everything up were unleashing right in front of him. Zura wasn't the type to simply start crying in front of someone (not seriously, anyway). He started to feel bad for the other man. He patted his head awkwardly, since he wasn't a very touchy person. "Oi, get yourself together, Zura. It's just a Jump..." 

"Gintoki... I thought you were dead for the past five years. Do you realize just what you have done?" he whispered to his ear. 

Gintoki sighed. It was useless. He felt like such a coward. He couldn't bring himself to tell Zura that the Gintoki he knew was already dead. He... he couldn't bring that kind of pain to him again. Maybe... he would be a coward for his sake just this time.

"I know. I'm sorry." he managed to swallow up his pride. It was hard. Much harder than he thought. 

"No, Gintoki. It was my fault. You should not have held that burden alone. I... wasn't able to protect anything in the end. Maybe, if I had known-"

"Zura, stop. Blaming yourself now won't achieve anything." Gintoki interrupted, shaking his head in disdain. "Sometimes... you just need to let go of the past. What matters is that we're both here now."

This time, Katsura let go of him. He looked at him, his stare empty. The tear stains on his cheeks were already dry. He sighed and closed his eyes momentarily before speaking.

"I visited your grave every day. Not just me, everyone missed you. I just couldn't shake off the thought that... that you were really dead."

_Perhaps he was. He didn't know himself._

"But it made me realize a lot of things." Katsura sighed. Gintoki hummed, indicating to continue. "Most of all, that I can't possibly move on if I'm going to stay like this. There were still many things that I needed to tell you, but soon I lost track of time and five years had already gone by. I knew you wouldn't want me to dwell on, and yet, I still couldn't move on," He said, staring at the space above Gintoki's shoulder. He pressed his lips together. "And then, with both Sensei, Takasugi and you gone... I realized that life just wasn't worth living." 

Gintoki let it sink in. It felt unreal. Why would he be worth enough for someone to feel suicidal over? 

He didn't want to, but he slapped him.

"Get yourself together! You can't just give up every time there is an obstacle in your way. That's... that's not what life's about." His voice was resigned by this point. He felt empty, his expression serious. "Don't you want to see it till the end?" 

Katsura rubbed at his cheek, which was already beginning to turn red. "Then, tell me, what am I supposed to do?!"

"I am not a person worth getting depressed over! Don't kill yourself over an idiot like me. Don't you understand?" He felt as if he was shouting into an empty room. His own vision became blurry.

"How could I if I couldn't even protect anything? When I couldn't even tell you that I-" _That I loved you._ He stopped himself. "That you shouldn't bear everything alone."

There was a pregnant silence. Gintoki never imagined their first official reunion to be like this. He wished he could simply forget about everything and go home. 

Katsura, being extremely worn down, sat down beside him. He took out a kiseru pipe from the folds of his kimono and lit it with his lighter, holding the kiseru between his finger tips. He took a deep breath in and let the smoke out. Even when he looked like he hasn't slept in days, that bastard still managed to look sophisticated.

"You smoke?" Gintoki asked, choosing to let go of the tense atmosphere. 

"Only sometimes," Katsura answered.

"Here I was, thinking I knew everything about you. You don't fail to surprise me, oi."

Katsura huffed out some air in amusement. "Perhaps."

He looked at him. "We should go and tend to your injuries. It would be no good to let them go untreated." he said, wiping away some of the blood from Gintoki's face. Gintoki felt his cold hand. He briefly touched it, as if trying to encode it to his memory. They were so close, yet...

"Gintoki," Katsura started, looking away. "You better not change."

He heard these words before, they were all too familiar to him. And he was going to make that promise again.

"You better not change either, Zura, or I'll cut you down myself." And for the first time in ages, Gintoki managed to smile despite the aching pain in his chest. He still felt empty saying these words, guilt overcoming him, knowing that he soon will have to leave this world behind. He wondered if he really could. 

"It's not Zura, it's-"

"Shut up."


End file.
